What Our Marriage Is (without kids)

10 secrets young wives don't talk about. You need to know these things that us women who married at a young age don't often mention. married life / young wives / wife / sahm / marriage / husbands /

Being married young is an adventure in itself. We don’t have it together. We pay student loans. We learn more about each other every day. We don’t own our first house yet. We don’t have any kids yet. We are still fresh and young in our careers. We have a lot of growing up to do, but we get to do it together. I didn’t take a class or read a book on how to be a wife. I fell in love with my best friend. We made the decision that we wanted to do life together. We planned a wedding. We said I do. We moved to Colorado and have been learning how to be husband & wife each and every day. We’ve learned a lot about each other from living together. He likes to keep things clean. He has a certain way of doing tasks. He is meticulous and precise when it comes to hanging pictures. He likes to plan how to pack up a moving truck. He LOVES cereal! I know he hates that my clothes are always on the floor, but he doesn’t say anything. He is excellent at vacuuming. Saturday’s are for Oklahoma State football. He loves to cuddle. He likes to scare me any chance he gets. He gets nosebleeds. I think he looks the cutest in his glasses. He always thanks me when I cook dinner. He never leaves the house without giving me a kiss. We know how to make each other laugh. I get his humor 100% of the time. We tell each other I love you, all the time. We are not perfect. We embrace each other’s imperfections. We do argue and say things we don’t mean. We always make up though! That’s key. We don’t hold grudges with each other. We don’t have fights that last more than a few hours. He’s never slept on the couch. 🙂 I would hate that. I now have a hard time sleeping alone. Bottom line is, that we get each other. We love each other. We know how to treat each other. We make each other laugh all the time. We enjoy doing life together. We encourage each other. We make decisions together. We ask each other for advice. We truly love each other as best friends and husband & wife. So what does our marriage look like? Here is a list of what our marriage looks like (without kids):

  1. Marriage is making a mature adult decision on dinner – preparing a nice, healthy meal for 2 or just grabbing McDonald’s? We went with McDonald’s.
  2. Marriage is pranking each other with the seat warmers in the truck.
  3. Marriage is having a serious conversation that results in a heated argument in the middle of Walmart…over picture frames.
  4. Marriage is when another human was rude to you, but it’s your husband’s fault. Ha ha, just kidding!
  5. Marriage is going on one of our “family walks” with our puppy where one of you pushes your puppy down the slide and the other one catches him. Being proud puppy parents when your baby makes it down the slide. “Oh my goodness, Good Boy!”
  6. Marriage is asking questions like: 
    1. Do we want this cleaner or that one?
    2. What body soap should we get?
    3. What do you want to put on that wall?
    4. Do I need a jacket?
    5. Is it cold outside?
    6. 2 shots or 1?
    7. Do you want your eggs scrambled or fried?
    8. What do you want to do?
    9. Where do you want to eat?
    10. Did you just fart?
    11. Why don’t you want to get a pedicure with me?
    12. When did we spend $___ at Target?
    13. Do you want to go out or stay in?
    14. Why are your PJ’s on?
    15. Can you take out the trash?
    16. Can you open this for me?
    17. Why can’t you just take off work?
    18. Do you like this outfit?
    19. Can you bring me toilet paper?
    20. Why are you mad?
  7. Marriage is sharing mutual frustration and anxiety while watching OSU play football. Also, it’s yelling at the TV together because Cardiac Cowboys!!
  8. Marriage is going out for 1 or 2 beers than being in bed by 9:30 on a Friday night.
  9. Marriage is deciding which position your husband will sleep in so that you are more comfortable.
  10. Marriage is spending a Saturday cleaning the house and hanging up pictures because that’s just how we do!!!
  11. Marriage is your husband asking you to please stop singing the same part of Taylor Swift’s new song a hundred times. “Okay babe, I think that’s enough”
  12. Marriage is thanking each other when one of you buys a small item like hand soap, because we really did need that!!!
  13. Marriage is deciding which bathrooms you will take when you get back from dinner. “Babe, I’ll take the downstairs!”
  14. Marriage is calling each other “Babe” all the time.
  15. Marriage is jumping out of closets and from behind the couch to scare each other. “Seriously?! Why do you have to do that?!”
  16. Marriage is 60% using sarcasm – “Babe, can you grab…” –  you “No” – him. 20% laughing at something inappropriate one of you said. 10% calling each other weird pet names and 10% laying in bed on our phones not talking to each other.
  17. Marriage is asking your husband to play with your hair and/or rub your back 24/7.
  18. Marriage is having to find the opportune moments to watch your shows. AKA quickly before he gets home from work!
  19. Marriage is binging shows and then trying to figure out what to do for the rest of our lives when we finish another series.
  20. Marriage is still laughing at the word “balls” and “That’s what she said!”
  21. Marriage is holding hands everywhere you go, because how else do we walk in the grocery store?
  22. Marriage is grabbing candy, oatmeal creme pies, Dr pepper, and ice cream than pretend to have a conversation in line that sounds like, “This should be enough for the kids”. 
  23. Marriage is just looking at each other and knowing exactly what it means.
  24. Marriage is coming up with an attack plan when trying to catch your puppy who has your socks. “Okay, you go on that side and I’ll chase him to you!” 
  25. Marriage is asking, “You’re still good on not having babies right?” 

Again, this what our marriage looks like. We make every day interesting. I love how weird we are. We make marriage fun. When we are ready to have kids, I’m sure we will do a good job of making that weird too. Right now, we are enjoying learning about each other. We enjoy taking care of our puppy, who is our baby right now. We love doing life together, because it’s an adventure. Life is one grand adventure. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it’s clean (probably because Dakota cleaned it up). Sometimes it seems close to perfect. But most of the time it’s not. We are not perfect. We love that about each other. Marriage isn’t supposed to be perfect. Marriage is growing up together and hoping you’re making the right moves, but you do the moves together.

Continuing our adventure, one day at a time.

 

xoxo,

Tori

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